I’ll admit it. I canon-balled right into the ignorance that was the Solange/Jay-Z blow up yesterday. The internet was on it and I have to say, the internet won. I laughed, I cried, I cringed looking at the memes and the videos. With that said, I found the actual incident to be disgusting. It’s not even the fact that this crazy woman is trying to fight a man… in couture, stilettos, and a semi-loose wig (keep it real, it was a tad crooked when she walked out to the car) … in public… but the overwhelming acceptance of what she did and finger-pointing at the victim. Anyone subject to an attack like that, regardless of what was done, is a victim. Yes, Jay-Z was the victim.
When Chris Brown was part of a similar incident as a teenager, and there were no cameras. No one knows what went on in that car
sidebar: how do these people fight in such small quarters?
Despite the fact that we all know Rihanna is crazy, no one questioned what she did, and he was automatically the worst person in the world. Hell, he’s still dealing with it five years later– some of the memes out there included him!
Now Solange is an almost-30-year-old divorced mother. She’s lived life. She’s old enough to know better and should want to set an example for her son and her niece. She’s been in the public eye long enough to know how to act when you suspect cameras are rolling (it’s 2014, if you think cameras aren’t in elevators, you need to get out more). But instead of calling her out for acting as if Miss Tina didn’t teach her anything as a child, I’ve heard: “well we don’t know what happened,” and, “we don’t know what he did,” “maybe she was defending her sister,” (like home girl wasn’t standing right there to defend herself), and other excuses that would enable such ratchetry.
What happened, is really no one’s business. They’re adults; adults argue. Whatever. But her reaction to whatever was said or done– that was caught on video — was dead wrong. Nothing in the world warrants being punched, kicked with high heels, being spit on, or hit with a metal purse. Lord knows if he tried in the slightest to defend himself–which is a human right, he’d somehow be in the wrong. I can’t knock any way he handled it– you have the right to do what you want when someone invades your space like that. She really took a chance on this one: this is the same man that shot his brother, and stabbed a man. Who’s to say he hasn’t paid some girl out of Marcy Projects to go get Solange?
In a time where women are ALWAYS talking about equal rights, it’s always struck me as odd that there’s still this, “men can’t hit women” argument. But somehow, the other half– women shouldn’t hit men– is always forgotten or brushed off as if it doesn’t exist.
Well, Men are stronger
Not really. Male physiology, more than hormones, explains men’s superior absolute strength. When other measures of strength are used, such as strength relative to cross-sectional area of muscle, the strength of men and women is nearly equal. Not every woman out here is meek and fraile. If Leila Ali swings at someone, it’s gon’ be a problem! But even if they are, that can be even more dangerous. What they lack in size and strength, they make up for with knives, guns, and blunt objects. If you’ve ever watched the news or a Lifetime movie, you know it’s real.
Women are victims more than men
Statisically, yes, but not by much: more than 40% of domestic violence victims are men. Of course, that number doesn’t include the ignored reports, because law enforcement doesn’t believe a man can be a victim of domestic violence. Also, take into account the number of guys who don’t even report it. Y’all see how Mr. Carter somehow got made out to be the punk in this? It’s a lose-lose situation for him. I can understand why a man wouldn’t want to come forward with that kind of claim.
Beyond the physical, the same emotional and mental scars remain. Men don’t get the same help; that’s a double standard that just isn’t fair.
My mom and my grandmother have always taught my brother and me to keep our hands to ourselves, don’t hit anyone unless you expect to get hit back. At the same time, it was made clear to us that no one is to EVER put their hands on us, man or woman. What I was taught was self-defense; I was fortunate enough to have someone to talk to me about that. However, not everyone does. Women like Solange don’t realize they’re playing Russian Roulette when they raise their hand to a man, and you may not walk away the same.
They say real men don’t hit women. But what real woman hits anyone? I grew up in a family mostly made up of women. I was raised by a single mother. Four of my mother’s six siblings are women. Most of my cousins are girls. I’ve seen them handle disagreements with themselves and others like ladies.
Of course, a couple have of them have fought men and bragged about it. I know one time where it backfired. Do I feel bad? No. Everyone has the option to either talk it out or walk it out.
Y’all just… Man, woman, animal, all of y’all…. just keep your hands to yourself.